I don’t really want to get into how messed up these parents are for attempting to prove to the world that they are the worst parents ever by losing their kid in a home made weather balloon. In reality, they showed that they are probably even worse parents by lying to the entire world about it to get famous.

Mission accomplished?

Let’s not gloss over the fact that their kid’s name is Falcon. Falcon! One of the illest, most majestic creatures on the earth. It sounds like his parents got drunk and let his brother name him, because his name is something normal like Brad. Man with a name like Falcon, this kid is destined to be the next Bear Grylls or an American gladiator or something. It’s too bad that he’s gonna be called balloon boy by everyone for the rest of his life.

I think it’s time regular people embraced the celebrity/crazy people manner of naming their children. I think we are progressively getting less creative with names. It’s gotten down to spelling a name more “creatively.” If your name is Crystal, but it’s spelled like Cryzstelle then that’s not creative, that’s just dumb. I see no difference if your name is Michael, but there’s a silent PH in there somewhere. We shouldn’t be inventing ways to fuck with the English language. These are your kids names, why are you trying to show your ineptitude at spelling while at the same time, burdening your kid with a lifetime of explaining why his name is spelled so retardedly? You created these things. Like a work of art, this person was molded, so to speak, to your own image. Why wouldn’t you want to maximize the potential on this opportunity to name your kid something great?

I can’t say for sure that there is a wrong or right way to name your kids awesomely, but an example of a bad idea? Here’s one that I just can’t get over :

George Foreman. He has 10 kids. 5 sons and 5 daughters. All of his sons are named George Foreman and he has one daughter named Georgeeta. Not even kidding. He might have taken a few too many blows to the head. I think that a guy that gives the same amount of thought into naming his kids as into naming his line of cooking grills is probably a few eggs short of a dozen.