Bao-hoa Hong's Blog

The politically correct part of me wants to say Happy Holidays, the part of me that doesn't give a shit (the majority) says Merry Christmas!

Get your advent calendars out and bust off a chunk. Dust off your Boney M and Nsync christmas albums, rewind your Home Alone 2 VHS, and get ready to spread Christmas cheer for all to hear. Say whaat? It’s December mutha truckas. Christmas is coming! Presents, Jesus, Santa, all that shit. It puts me in such a holly jolly mood. I feel like building a snowman and pretending that he’s Parson Brown. I have to say though, whoever came up with the concept of Santa really screwed parents over. Why? Spoiler Alert. Santa isn’t real, and parents have to buy an extra present, and say that it’s from that big red turd,Santa. This meant that however rich your family was, determined how soon you found out that Santa wasn’t real. Why would your parents buy your spoiled little prepubescent ass an additional present when they don’t have to, right? If you grew up in a normal family, you probably found out at around 10-12 years old that the days of getting an extra present were over. If you lived in a lower income neighbourhood, you were probably 7 or 8 when you found out that in fact it was your dad who was eating your cookies, and drinking the lukewarm milk that you left by the fireplace. If you’re family is super rich, you probably still believe that Santa is real, and on his way. Santa Claus is one of the reasons why people in third world countries hate your guts. Not only have these poor young kids never even heard of Christmas, let alone this Santa character, the mere thought of them not receiving gifts while you’re getting 2 transformers instead of 1 is enough for them to grow up and want to kill you.  With that in mind, Merry Christmas!

Random Youtube Video #12

Ummmmmm what? I think I could stack 10 max. You could play Jenga on this guy’s head.

Today At Work...

I got a 100% tip from a customer. The bill came out to 24.99 and they left 50$ in cash. That is insane in the membraaane.

Improbable reasons for this?

1. They could have been dope dealers who just got back from a lucrative deal.

2. They could have been billionaires.

3. There exists a race of some kind of anti-Asian that actually tips unusually well.

Probable reasons?

1.       I could possibly be the GREATEST server in the world.

2.       It’s close to the holiday season, and they thought they would make my day by giving me a little something extra.

3.       Or it was simply just a counting error which is most likely what transpired.

In the case that it wasn’t a mistake, let’s just take a look at what that means just to give my ego a little boost. What does this mean? My service was so good that they would have been just as satisfied if I just brought them the food and all they did was look at it, and not even eat it. They would have paid full price of the meal just to be in the restaurant. I was almost expecting I had to do some sort of sexual favour after getting the money. “Here’s your money, but there’s a little something extra if, this time, you eat my spring roll, if ya know what I’m sayin’.”

Random Youtube Video #11

Here’s one about a bullshit martial arts master who takes on a real MMA fighter with his magic powers.

FOX cancels MadTV and King of the Hill

Wow, fucking FINALLY. A couple of second class shows on a second class network getting canned.  In 14 years, MadTV hasn’t ever been even close to funny with the exception of maybe a handful of sketches. Their business plan was to create recurring characters and input them into everyday situations to see what would happen. Ooh how zany! The black Ebonics lady is buying a purse! Unfortunately for them, identification of these characters did not equal humor. Just because I recognize the large manboy character, Stuart, doesn’t make it funny every fucking time.  They also horribly spoofed pop culture current events to appeal to dumb teenagers, (something I call the Friedberg and Seltzer Technique) but even the kids saw it as the trash it was, and stopped watching.

King of the Hill on the other hand, are you serious? What is the target audience here? Middle-aged republican males with a drinking problem who don’t know how to raise their fat loser sons? Yeah, I was really captivated the first time I saw it, and yet somehow it surprisingly lasted 13 seasons. Someone told me that it`s a show that has to grow on you. Yeah, warts can grow on me too, but get those bitches excised asap. Did they really think they could make a TV show about a partly dysfunctional family that could rival the Simpsons, or even lately Family Guy? Come on, Family Guy makes KotH look like an inbred Little House On The Prairie.